I come to you in reverence of who you are! How great & powerful & marvelous you are & I am humbled by your presence. At the foot of your throne of grace all I can do is repent & lament & repent again. You are deserving of so much more than I give, or could ever give. I am sorry for abusing this privilege I have of unrestricted access to you by ignoring you with the notion of talking to you later, or when I'm done doing what I "like", or when I feel like being "bothered" by talking to you. It's an honor and a privilege to worship you & I vow to honor you more with my life. Thank you for understanding me and being there even after I mess up & walk away from you and do, say or think of ways to dishonor you. Life without you is miserable, and in my angry moments it's easy to forget that so help me not to lose sight of that truth. Make me mature enough to talk to you even when I feel like I may hate you. Continue to take things away from me if they get in the way of our relationship! I don't like the way I feel but I know you're producing something great out of my life. Forgive me for being ungrateful of my giftings and coveting my neighbors. Make me comfortable with being invisible & unnoticed. Don't deliver me from situations where I seem to be overlooked until I'm content with the fact that my identity rests solely & completely in you. No person determines who I am (myself included). Mold me to the mindset that I am NOTHING without you, so that in due season you can exalt me without ever having to worry about me trying to steal your glory. All honor belongs to you, gracious Father. Abba Father! Thank you for adopting me as your own & freeing me from the dark recesses of my guilt stricken mind. Remind me that I am a child of the Most High & that I am to walk like it at all times regardless of what emotion I am experiencing. Help me be gracious when I want to be violent! Make me compassionate when I want to be judgmental. Show me love. Real, true, unadulterated love. Pure love, open my eyes to the truth about your love, & how you love me so I can love others in the same way. ...Help me! Please! I'm drowning in sea's of bitterness & self-righteousness & guilt & it's getting harder & harder to see you, or remember what you've taught me about myself & yourself. I don't feel you as a comforter, but don't allow me to forget that you comfort the heavy hearted! At times I can't see you as the Truth, Way or Light but don't let me cave to the lies that say you aren't. It's becoming more difficult for me to believe you're a deliverer who cares about me, but I know that you do. I want to experience you! & maybe that's the reason you've allowed me to let doubt slip through my foundation in you & bitterness to choke out the love you've made available to me. I know that this all was grafted into your plan, but the reality is that it still hurts! My will doesn't want to bend to yours, and I guess that's the reason you must break it... but it feels as if your smashing me into a billion tiny pieces, but if that's what it takes to get the job done, keep working... I don't like it, but I must need it so don't let me get in the way! This healing process feels a lot worst than the initial wounding, but if it'll bring you glory... continue! In Jesus' name I do pray.
Amen
