Father,
Thank you for forgiveness that was made accessible to us by the gospel. Please forgive me for not following your instructions completely.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Check MATE
Dad,
I was thinking today, and I really wanted to talk to you about my thoughts. First I'd like to say that I'm excited about my future, but only because it's in Your hands. Sometimes I wish You would let me in on more of the details, but I know You don't divulge too much for my benefit. It's a good thing not to know everything up Your sleeve, that way I know I can really trust You.
So, now for what I was thinking about. .....My future husband [but that's no surprise right!? lol]. I'm not anxious for one, but I'm sure he'll be here eventually and I just don't want us to mess things up when He finally finds me. Because of this I ask that You would break both of us completely before we even meet each other. Have us so that we know we are nothing and can do nothing without You. I pray that You would begin revealing to each of us how our pasts were designed specifically to help our future and also what You have developed (or need to develop) in us that is meant to help our spouse. Prepare us to be sensitive to one another's temperaments and grace us for the the ways in which we will irritate each other. Help him be committed, first to you, then to his family. Show both of us the true value of having an understanding family who loves despite short-comings. Make him responsible and show him how to lead a family and be so secure in his leadership that he isn't intimidated by suggestions that seem better than the ideas he comes up with. Give him a strong desire to be protective over what You entrust him with but not possessive. Let him recognize that everything he has is first Your's and he needs to treat it with respect [family included]. Give him discipline. Great discipline, and a passion to protect his and his family's integrity. Heal him from past hurts and show him the things in him that are not like You and need to be done away with. Let him have compassion toward women who may have been abused. Build his discernment and ensure him with all the gifts of the spirit. Teach him to "covet" the gift of prophecy and not to despise it [1 Corinth 14:39; 1 Thess 5:20]. Make him sure of his spiritual gifting, make him wise in his use of them and allow him to have an accurate perception on what it is he needs from a spouse. Cure him of all anxiousness in finding a wife. Allow to get to a place where he's so satisfied in you that he barely notices me when we first meet. Blind him of my physical appearance until after he You reveal to him that I am the one he is to marry. Give him an urgency to pray diligently for his [future] wife and keep us from meeting until we are ready for each other.
And although I've written all of this I understand Prov 16:1 [Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word}, so I pray that above all my wants, desires and needs that You would do what You know is best to do and have Your way. Be glorified in both of our lives, forever!
I was thinking today, and I really wanted to talk to you about my thoughts. First I'd like to say that I'm excited about my future, but only because it's in Your hands. Sometimes I wish You would let me in on more of the details, but I know You don't divulge too much for my benefit. It's a good thing not to know everything up Your sleeve, that way I know I can really trust You.
So, now for what I was thinking about. .....My future husband [but that's no surprise right!? lol]. I'm not anxious for one, but I'm sure he'll be here eventually and I just don't want us to mess things up when He finally finds me. Because of this I ask that You would break both of us completely before we even meet each other. Have us so that we know we are nothing and can do nothing without You. I pray that You would begin revealing to each of us how our pasts were designed specifically to help our future and also what You have developed (or need to develop) in us that is meant to help our spouse. Prepare us to be sensitive to one another's temperaments and grace us for the the ways in which we will irritate each other. Help him be committed, first to you, then to his family. Show both of us the true value of having an understanding family who loves despite short-comings. Make him responsible and show him how to lead a family and be so secure in his leadership that he isn't intimidated by suggestions that seem better than the ideas he comes up with. Give him a strong desire to be protective over what You entrust him with but not possessive. Let him recognize that everything he has is first Your's and he needs to treat it with respect [family included]. Give him discipline. Great discipline, and a passion to protect his and his family's integrity. Heal him from past hurts and show him the things in him that are not like You and need to be done away with. Let him have compassion toward women who may have been abused. Build his discernment and ensure him with all the gifts of the spirit. Teach him to "covet" the gift of prophecy and not to despise it [1 Corinth 14:39; 1 Thess 5:20]. Make him sure of his spiritual gifting, make him wise in his use of them and allow him to have an accurate perception on what it is he needs from a spouse. Cure him of all anxiousness in finding a wife. Allow to get to a place where he's so satisfied in you that he barely notices me when we first meet. Blind him of my physical appearance until after he You reveal to him that I am the one he is to marry. Give him an urgency to pray diligently for his [future] wife and keep us from meeting until we are ready for each other.
And although I've written all of this I understand Prov 16:1 [Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word}, so I pray that above all my wants, desires and needs that You would do what You know is best to do and have Your way. Be glorified in both of our lives, forever!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Confronting the PAST
Well Lord,
[dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUN
....*audience gasps >insert pause for dramatic effect<
*random 'gulp' followed by an eerie shriek from a woman]
Guess it's about that time!
I always knew that every christian had to come to a point where they had to confront their past. I'll call it "facing the big plunge". But for some reason I never thought my day would come, and if I did sub-consciously accept this ideology, I never thought it would be as hard for me as everyone else. Foolishly I tricked myself into believing that the "growing pains" in my first years of college would ultimately be the climaxing struggle with my past. Oh, how desperately I wish that were true right now. That would have been a cinch! ...Welp, I stand corrected. This by far is THEE most difficult thing You ever expected me to do. I don't want to admit that I understand why, but I have to. I can, however; admit that I need You. Direct me through this Lord. I think I may need Jesus Himself to come down and hold my hand through this one. It's so dark and taboo. I don't even want to touch it. I don't want to go near it with a 50 foot pole. I was comfortable forgetting about it... but forgetting about it is not the way to get healing from it. Hmmph! Difficult feats are rewarded greatly! ....Remind me of that please! I don't feel like going through this, but I promised You that I'd stick with You when I was felt like it and when I didn't. GIVE ME GRACE!!! Lots and lots and lots of it! Give me courage in abundance!! Lend me strength and boldness to get me past this point in my life! Mark me... "trailblazer, "curse ender" "broken vessel", just use me! Just use me! The more I realize that I don't matter, the easier it is to accept this call. This flesh is a beast, so daily help me slaughter it! Be my guide. I feel scatter-brained right now, so my thoughts and sentences are ping-ponging all over the place. Nothing is really flowing. But I am glad that I can come to You with my scattered thoughts and You'll help me sort them and show me what actions to take. But let Joshua 1:9 be my banner! In Jesus Christ (My Redeemer & Friend) name I do pray [& plead His blood] AMEN...
By the way, I love the fact that I come to You feeling horrible and You literally turn my frown upside down! <<--Yea I know it sounds so cliche', but I guess cliche's are the defining character of love Lol... Love You Poppa =)
[dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUN
....*audience gasps >insert pause for dramatic effect<
*random 'gulp' followed by an eerie shriek from a woman]
Guess it's about that time!
I always knew that every christian had to come to a point where they had to confront their past. I'll call it "facing the big plunge". But for some reason I never thought my day would come, and if I did sub-consciously accept this ideology, I never thought it would be as hard for me as everyone else. Foolishly I tricked myself into believing that the "growing pains" in my first years of college would ultimately be the climaxing struggle with my past. Oh, how desperately I wish that were true right now. That would have been a cinch! ...Welp, I stand corrected. This by far is THEE most difficult thing You ever expected me to do. I don't want to admit that I understand why, but I have to. I can, however; admit that I need You. Direct me through this Lord. I think I may need Jesus Himself to come down and hold my hand through this one. It's so dark and taboo. I don't even want to touch it. I don't want to go near it with a 50 foot pole. I was comfortable forgetting about it... but forgetting about it is not the way to get healing from it. Hmmph! Difficult feats are rewarded greatly! ....Remind me of that please! I don't feel like going through this, but I promised You that I'd stick with You when I was felt like it and when I didn't. GIVE ME GRACE!!! Lots and lots and lots of it! Give me courage in abundance!! Lend me strength and boldness to get me past this point in my life! Mark me... "trailblazer, "curse ender" "broken vessel", just use me! Just use me! The more I realize that I don't matter, the easier it is to accept this call. This flesh is a beast, so daily help me slaughter it! Be my guide. I feel scatter-brained right now, so my thoughts and sentences are ping-ponging all over the place. Nothing is really flowing. But I am glad that I can come to You with my scattered thoughts and You'll help me sort them and show me what actions to take. But let Joshua 1:9 be my banner! In Jesus Christ (My Redeemer & Friend) name I do pray [& plead His blood] AMEN...
By the way, I love the fact that I come to You feeling horrible and You literally turn my frown upside down! <<--Yea I know it sounds so cliche', but I guess cliche's are the defining character of love Lol... Love You Poppa =)
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